So, I never thought I'd be married. Ever. No, really...ever. For me, being single and not being defined by a relationship was the most important choice I had made in my twenties, if not most of my life up until then.
At thirty, I was single, happy and completely content on my own.
Then I met Doug and my world changed.
To think that I never wanted to get married or be in a committed relationship now means that the last six years with him would not have have been the best years of my life. I have no doubt become a better person because of meeting him. I am more comfortable in my own skin, accept myself more than I did, and truly know that I can die tomorrow, aware that I had a great love in my life. I also know that I was able to risk it all, jump in and take the plunge, not knowing what to expect, but only hoping for the best.
I've been really lucky with my marriage. Yes, it takes work. Anything good in life takes work. It's the easy path that end up being the most complicated, because if you arent working to improve yourself or your life, what is it that you are doing? No doubt we can all stand to challenge our own happiness and change our path if needed.
As I approach forty, I have to say that I am more comfortable with myself than I have ever been. I have recently decided to accept that I will always be "five pounds" above my ideal weight. Why? Because I love wine, I love food, and I love life. For me, that means more than dieting and constantly beating myself up because I am not the size I was when I was single and in my twenties and early thirties.
Besides, I am healthy! I eat well and exercise (at least 3 to 5 days a week), and only drink on the weekends. Life is about moderation, but not deprivation. If I want chocolate, I will find a way to have it! Really, I can spend my time beating myself up because I am not my own "ideal" weight, or I can be happy and accept that I am who I am, and that my pant size does not dictate my life. I refuse to live my life on a path, a plan or a agenda. I know a lot of "busy" people, who in all honesty are just busying themselves with a plan or agenda because they think they have to.
I have recently decided to live my life from a much different perspective. I am going to embrace everything with love, happiness and enthusiasm, one day at a time. I think in life you have to embrace the unknown, and the simple things really go unnoticed if you don't take time to acknowledge how sweet they are.
We are all so busy comparing everything to everything, that we are losing the joy in the true experience of what we are doing. We are worried about what we are NOT doing - what choices we did or didn't make, and instead of going with where the road leads, we question if the road we chose was correct. I think most of us can stand to not worry about the road, but focus more on the journey.
