We all have to make decisions in life. Some are easy, such as what we wear or eat. Others are a little more complex. Decisions and sacrifices are the same thing when it comes to a relationship. You decide to get involved with someone, you decide to get married, and you decide to make that marriage work. All the while you are both making sacrifices along the way. You may look at yourself and not recognize parts of who you are anymore, and that's okay. It's also perfectly normal to wonder if you are even the same person anymore. Many times, the answer is no. Relationships change you. That's part of the deal. If you are not ready for that sacrifice, then I suggest you stay single. However, you may find that you like the person you become even better.
Before I met Doug, I was a totally different person. I was in my own world which evolved around me. My life now is much different. The important thing is to remember the essence of who you are and what is important to YOU. For instance, I take a lot of time for myself. I have always liked my alone time. I have also maintained my sense of humor and my outgoing personality. These are the things about myself I would never sacrifice for anyone else.
So, in summary...know whats important to you. Because what isn't important, will definitely change. Embrace the change, because only good can come from loving without fear. I have my husband to thank for teaching me that!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Signs of Fall...
Leaves changing colors. Cozy dinners in and homemade butternut squash soup. Red wine.
All of these things remind me of the changing of the season, which I always really enjoy. I feel like things slow down in the fall. Summer is always so frazzled and busy!
I also always feel that, with a change of season, comes a new chance and a new perspective.
Embrace the change, and make changes in your life. Make things easier for you. Organize and minimize.
The simpler you make things in your life, the better it can become.
All of these things remind me of the changing of the season, which I always really enjoy. I feel like things slow down in the fall. Summer is always so frazzled and busy!
I also always feel that, with a change of season, comes a new chance and a new perspective.
Embrace the change, and make changes in your life. Make things easier for you. Organize and minimize.
The simpler you make things in your life, the better it can become.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Some interesting reading...
In a past life, I wrote a singles column for a going out guide in Monmouth County. Recently, I came across some of my articles. It's amazing how my perspective has changed since then on the dating scene. Of course, my view is now skewed, as I am married. Nonetheless, I want to share my perspective with any single women reading this blog now. Married women know something about dating. It's how we ended up married, after all.
Advice for single girls from a married woman
1) Live your life as much as you want. Don’t worry about when you meet someone or try to put yourself on a schedule for when you expect to get married. It’s going to happen when you least expect it
2) This is very important: what you think you need and what you actually need are very different things. My husband is nothing like I expected the person I married would be like.
3) Date. A lot. I dated tons in my 20’s because I never wanted to look back and say “I wish”. Plus, it was fun! I only took a handful of my relationships seriously.
4) Focus on your career and find your happiness within yourself. Work hard and be good at what you do, whatever that may be.
5) Get a hobby. Nothing is sadder than a single girl who thinks that life begins when they are in a relationship. Read, go to a museum, take a cooking class, or join the gym. Do something that helps you think about you and not about the opposite sex.
6) Weed out the friends who care about you and not just about the fact that you are single, and hence available to go out with them to troll the bars. These people will only cause drama later on for you and are definitely not worth it. Better to have a few close friends than several shitty ones who would stab you in the back without thinking twice.
7) Set goals for yourself that have nothing to do with getting married: travel, go back to school, learn another language. No matter what, you will find yourself more confident in yourself and your abilities, which is way sexier than being a date who has nothing to say.
8) Laugh. Laughter can get you through the loneliest days and can make the good days that much sweeter.
Advice for single girls from a married woman
1) Live your life as much as you want. Don’t worry about when you meet someone or try to put yourself on a schedule for when you expect to get married. It’s going to happen when you least expect it
2) This is very important: what you think you need and what you actually need are very different things. My husband is nothing like I expected the person I married would be like.
3) Date. A lot. I dated tons in my 20’s because I never wanted to look back and say “I wish”. Plus, it was fun! I only took a handful of my relationships seriously.
4) Focus on your career and find your happiness within yourself. Work hard and be good at what you do, whatever that may be.
5) Get a hobby. Nothing is sadder than a single girl who thinks that life begins when they are in a relationship. Read, go to a museum, take a cooking class, or join the gym. Do something that helps you think about you and not about the opposite sex.
6) Weed out the friends who care about you and not just about the fact that you are single, and hence available to go out with them to troll the bars. These people will only cause drama later on for you and are definitely not worth it. Better to have a few close friends than several shitty ones who would stab you in the back without thinking twice.
7) Set goals for yourself that have nothing to do with getting married: travel, go back to school, learn another language. No matter what, you will find yourself more confident in yourself and your abilities, which is way sexier than being a date who has nothing to say.
8) Laugh. Laughter can get you through the loneliest days and can make the good days that much sweeter.
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