Doug and I have spent the last 3 weekends decorating and organizing our home. Almost all of the finishing touches are in place. However, we both agree that the space has yet to feel like home. Of course, it takes time. We are looking forward to having friends and family over more frequently to help make our house, feel like our home. Lots of parties to come!
Living in Jersey City has been wonderful so far. It's been a bit of an adjustment of course. I went from living in a quiet suburb to a busy, noisy city. I have loved walking everywhere. I know that I will get settled in and eventually it will be as if I have lived here forever, but adjusting to a new environment has been interesting. I am glad I have Doug to share in the journey.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Disease of Intolerance...and Ignorance
Most geniuses are gifted and not of this world. The King of Pop lead a very questionable life as an adult. I even found myself shaking my head in disgust. However, his death has taught me just how far we are from becoming a tolerant society.
True, Michael had issues. I don't think anyone can deny that he lead a unique life that few of us could understand. He was in the spotlight his entire life and was completely isolated from the real world. If anyone I know can explain that type of life, please speak up. If not, please do not pass judgment.
Intolerance and ignorance are a nasty and powerful combination. I do not claim to know everything about Michael Jackson. This, in my mind, means I have no room to pass judgment on him, or what type of life he lived.
If your choice is to judge his life, you are no better of a person than the person our society made Michael out to be.
True, Michael had issues. I don't think anyone can deny that he lead a unique life that few of us could understand. He was in the spotlight his entire life and was completely isolated from the real world. If anyone I know can explain that type of life, please speak up. If not, please do not pass judgment.
Intolerance and ignorance are a nasty and powerful combination. I do not claim to know everything about Michael Jackson. This, in my mind, means I have no room to pass judgment on him, or what type of life he lived.
If your choice is to judge his life, you are no better of a person than the person our society made Michael out to be.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Charmed Life?
On the outside, it may seem that I have it all. I am fortunate enough to not have to work full time, I am able to pick up and move out of my townhome and move into an area where I will be able to have lots of new and interesting experiences. Most of all, I get to make choices in my life that are always backed by those I love.
However, all my good fortune comes at a price. It's almost like the opposite of what I wrote about is true. I may not have to work full time, but that comes at the price of not having what I would characterize as a successful career. I have always viewed my career as important to me, and have always been very ambitious. I feel like something is missing without my work to help define who I am. True, there are more things in life than having a career, but for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to work with and help others in some positive way.
Yes, I am able to move and start fresh with Doug, which is something I am very grateful for. But I left behind a life I knew and lived, mostly on my own, for the last 15 years. I am equally excited and terrified.
I suppose my worries in life are few, and for that I am very fortunate. I guess my point is, that no matter how happy or successful one may seem on the outside, might mean nothing on the inside.
However, all my good fortune comes at a price. It's almost like the opposite of what I wrote about is true. I may not have to work full time, but that comes at the price of not having what I would characterize as a successful career. I have always viewed my career as important to me, and have always been very ambitious. I feel like something is missing without my work to help define who I am. True, there are more things in life than having a career, but for as long as I can remember, I have wanted to work with and help others in some positive way.
Yes, I am able to move and start fresh with Doug, which is something I am very grateful for. But I left behind a life I knew and lived, mostly on my own, for the last 15 years. I am equally excited and terrified.
I suppose my worries in life are few, and for that I am very fortunate. I guess my point is, that no matter how happy or successful one may seem on the outside, might mean nothing on the inside.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A Second Chance
As many of you know, I am a School Counselor, working with adult students in an evening high school program. Everyone who comes through my doors has dropped out of high school. Some students are returning to school because they are being forced to (the 16 year-olds in particular), but most of my students are there because they want to be there. They range in age from 16-80, which is why I love what I do.
Our students are far from traditional. Most of them have full time jobs, children and families. This makes coming back to school even harder for them. They are hopeful, but discouraged from the beginning. Some students have been out of school for so long, they feel it's just easier to stop coming to class when it isn't as easy as they hoped it would be.
This actually makes my job very enjoyable. I am a motivator. When a student starts to skip classes, I call them and encourage them to come back. They usually do.
Last night was the graduation for the Adult High School students I work with.
I have participated in 5 graduations through my career. I love graduation! Everyone is so optimistic and proud. This year, several of my students are going on to college to further their education.
However, what stuck with me last night was how grateful my students were. They felt they were being given a second chance.
Which, of course, got me thinking...
Imagine if everyone who has made a choice that didn't work in their favor had the gumption to take a second chance? Why can't everyone be as optimistic? So often, we believe that life is what it is, and it can't be changed. Personally, I come from the mindset of making lemonade out of lemons.
I think we could all use a healthy dose of daily optimism. Isn't each day a graduation, of sorts? We get a second chance with each rising sun. In my opinion, that should be incentive enough to look at things through rose-colored glasses once in a while.
As one of my students said to me, we all have the ability to see the value in taking chances.
Our students are far from traditional. Most of them have full time jobs, children and families. This makes coming back to school even harder for them. They are hopeful, but discouraged from the beginning. Some students have been out of school for so long, they feel it's just easier to stop coming to class when it isn't as easy as they hoped it would be.
This actually makes my job very enjoyable. I am a motivator. When a student starts to skip classes, I call them and encourage them to come back. They usually do.
Last night was the graduation for the Adult High School students I work with.
I have participated in 5 graduations through my career. I love graduation! Everyone is so optimistic and proud. This year, several of my students are going on to college to further their education.
However, what stuck with me last night was how grateful my students were. They felt they were being given a second chance.
Which, of course, got me thinking...
Imagine if everyone who has made a choice that didn't work in their favor had the gumption to take a second chance? Why can't everyone be as optimistic? So often, we believe that life is what it is, and it can't be changed. Personally, I come from the mindset of making lemonade out of lemons.
I think we could all use a healthy dose of daily optimism. Isn't each day a graduation, of sorts? We get a second chance with each rising sun. In my opinion, that should be incentive enough to look at things through rose-colored glasses once in a while.
As one of my students said to me, we all have the ability to see the value in taking chances.
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Rules of Fashion According to Morristown
To live in Morristown, the following guidelines come in handy:
FASHION FOR MEN
1) Men must wear khaki pants only, madras shorts or pants are allowed in the summer, but only on special occasion.
2) Shirts are to be worn according to the season (pastels in the summer, darker colors in the winter). Ties are to be worn at your discretion, but you get points if they have small animals on them or a "quirky" pattern recently featured in American Lifestyle or at Brooks Brothers. Remember, ties are your "flair". They directly tell the public who you are, so choose wisely.
3) Sport jackets are to be hung in the backseat of your BMW, Volvo or Audi. You never know when you will be invited to drinks at Rod's. Better safe than sorry.
4) Always keep your best suit freshly pressed. In the case of an evening to the local community theater, it's smart to have it ready if you decide to dine at The Grand Cafe.
5) Older gentlemen are encouraged to wear cashmere sweaters and ties. This look is classic and suitable almost all the time. In the warmer months, Polo shirts are acceptable, as long as they are not faded and are tucked in. Neutral colors only, please.
FASHION FOR WOMEN
1) Khaki pants are preferred, but anything you purchase at JCrew, Brooks Brothers or Talbots is acceptable. See Helen at Talbots or Mary Beth at Brooks Brothers for assistance
2) Accessorize properly. Pearls are ALWAYS appropriate, but gold is a classic as well. We save our diamonds for special nights. It's taboo to wear them in daylight, as we are in Morristown, not Ridgewood. Always remember, Morris County and Bergen County are WORLDS apart.
3) If you are wearing a dress, it must be knee length and it is suggested to have a cardigan at the ready, you never know when you will get a chill walking the Green.
4) Help your man dress. It is up to you to enforce the details of #2.
5) Shorts are acceptable for the gym, but not for dinner.
6) If you must wear a tank top, please tuck it in.
7) If you are an "older" woman, longer skirts, scarves purchased on your vacations, and decorative jewelry are not only encouraged but expected. These items show others your travel and life experiences, not to mention your individual fashion sense. But remember, the same rules above apply.
FASHION FOR MEN
1) Men must wear khaki pants only, madras shorts or pants are allowed in the summer, but only on special occasion.
2) Shirts are to be worn according to the season (pastels in the summer, darker colors in the winter). Ties are to be worn at your discretion, but you get points if they have small animals on them or a "quirky" pattern recently featured in American Lifestyle or at Brooks Brothers. Remember, ties are your "flair". They directly tell the public who you are, so choose wisely.
3) Sport jackets are to be hung in the backseat of your BMW, Volvo or Audi. You never know when you will be invited to drinks at Rod's. Better safe than sorry.
4) Always keep your best suit freshly pressed. In the case of an evening to the local community theater, it's smart to have it ready if you decide to dine at The Grand Cafe.
5) Older gentlemen are encouraged to wear cashmere sweaters and ties. This look is classic and suitable almost all the time. In the warmer months, Polo shirts are acceptable, as long as they are not faded and are tucked in. Neutral colors only, please.
FASHION FOR WOMEN
1) Khaki pants are preferred, but anything you purchase at JCrew, Brooks Brothers or Talbots is acceptable. See Helen at Talbots or Mary Beth at Brooks Brothers for assistance
2) Accessorize properly. Pearls are ALWAYS appropriate, but gold is a classic as well. We save our diamonds for special nights. It's taboo to wear them in daylight, as we are in Morristown, not Ridgewood. Always remember, Morris County and Bergen County are WORLDS apart.
3) If you are wearing a dress, it must be knee length and it is suggested to have a cardigan at the ready, you never know when you will get a chill walking the Green.
4) Help your man dress. It is up to you to enforce the details of #2.
5) Shorts are acceptable for the gym, but not for dinner.
6) If you must wear a tank top, please tuck it in.
7) If you are an "older" woman, longer skirts, scarves purchased on your vacations, and decorative jewelry are not only encouraged but expected. These items show others your travel and life experiences, not to mention your individual fashion sense. But remember, the same rules above apply.
Monday, May 4, 2009
L-O-V-E
Love is great. It changes what we think about the opposite sex. It makes up believe that love exists, and makes us better people.
But, oh....the things we do for love.
We fight for love. We sometimes change for love. We lose the ones we love, for love.
Love is painful. It can make you change parts about yourself you never knew you would be able to change, or want to change. It makes you want to be with someone fully, and realize that it makes you a better person when you are with that person.
But it also hurts to lose parts of your identity. The identity I had before I met Doug was wrapped up in me, being myself. This involved being single, fluffing my nest, and being alone, by choice. I loved my life. I still do, but I love Doug in my life.
I will never say that my life is better with Doug. My life was great when I was single. But the way I love Doug, can never be compared to the way I loved my life before him. He makes me a better person and makes me want to evolve past who I was. I never thought I would take my marriage as seriously as I do. But, it is sacred to me. I would do anything for it to stay as special as it is to me right now. I never thought I would see such a value in a relationship with another person. However, Doug is everything I could want in a spouse. But most of all, I am myself around him, which is what he loves about me, and what I love about our relationship.
For me to find someone I can be myself with, who accepts me as I am completely, is worth any sacrifice.
But, oh....the things we do for love.
We fight for love. We sometimes change for love. We lose the ones we love, for love.
Love is painful. It can make you change parts about yourself you never knew you would be able to change, or want to change. It makes you want to be with someone fully, and realize that it makes you a better person when you are with that person.
But it also hurts to lose parts of your identity. The identity I had before I met Doug was wrapped up in me, being myself. This involved being single, fluffing my nest, and being alone, by choice. I loved my life. I still do, but I love Doug in my life.
I will never say that my life is better with Doug. My life was great when I was single. But the way I love Doug, can never be compared to the way I loved my life before him. He makes me a better person and makes me want to evolve past who I was. I never thought I would take my marriage as seriously as I do. But, it is sacred to me. I would do anything for it to stay as special as it is to me right now. I never thought I would see such a value in a relationship with another person. However, Doug is everything I could want in a spouse. But most of all, I am myself around him, which is what he loves about me, and what I love about our relationship.
For me to find someone I can be myself with, who accepts me as I am completely, is worth any sacrifice.
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