Memories in Boxes, Round 1

So I thought going through old pictures would be "fun".  However, as I was looking into my past, and looking at the Allison I was, face to face, I began to get an odd sinking feeling.  It took a while for me to figure out, but I realized something:  I have looked at my past through rose-colored glasses for many years now.  I only looked at the positives, and never at the negatives. 

For some reason, today I saw things differently.  Call it time, call it age, or call it perspective.  Whatever it is, today I saw mistakes I made, poor choices I acted on, and memories of things I wish never happened.  I saw pictures of people I was really close with at one point, that I don't even speak to anymore.  While I always think it's important to look forward and not look back, it is important to acknowledge mistakes you have made and even try to rectify you past a little.  There are a few people that I have treated poorly, and have taken advantage of.  To these people, I apologize. 

As I looked into my past, I saw a lot of images of who I was at the time, several of which had me asking, "Who am I?".  I think I let off an image and people think they know who I am but today in particular, I was asking myself if I even knew who I was at all.   I knew I had to step away and get a break from reliving my past. 

This start of a downward spiral propelled me to hit the Belmar boardwalk and get it all out.  Once I hit a sweat, I got perspective.  I may not know who I am all the time, but I know who I am, today.  I am a loving, ambitious woman, thankful for being able to finally acknowledge my mistakes. I don't think we ever stay the same, we are always changing and evolving.

Who I am tomorrow, and who I will be in the coming years is yet to be revealed.  My mission right now is to live each day to its fullest, without regret, and to always be thankful for those around me, never taking those I love for granted.

Feeling (almost) renewed

So the whole point of this spring break has been to focus on feeling rested to power through the rest of the school year.  Lord knows I'll need all my energy to get through what's ahead of me.  I've been sleeping, resting, spending time with friends and family, and have been able to stop and smell the flowers, as it were.

I actually enjoyed being home.  I had the time to clean out my closet.  I had time to hold a proper conversation with a good friend.  I had time to just....be.  I didn't have an agenda, I didn't have a routine, I wasn't stuck in a weekend of running around, food shopping, catching up on errands, and watching my precious time off drift away, hour by hour. 

Am I going to say that I won't get caught up in the routine in the coming week?  No.  I know what the next few weeks have in store for me.  All I can do is jump in with both feet and face the coming weeks head on.  Thank God I am feeling rested and ready to charge ahead.  Hopefully I'll still remember to stop and enjoy the little things that matter the most.  

Memories in Boxes

I have a confession.  I am terrible at taking pictures, and even worse about getting pictures developed and framed.  They all live in my phone, in a box, or in my shutterfly account, waiting to be ordered.  I was NOT into making a wedding album, have barely any new or interesting personal pictures around my house, and up until now I haven't had the desire to work on it.

Why now?  Well, with the celebration of my 5 year anniversary (in August), I want to make a collage of my invitation, our wedding portrait, and other personal mementos from that day.  Mainly, because at the time, I didn't think I was a sentimental woman.  However, with the approach of our 5 year anniversary, and seeing all the changes that have taken place in our lives, I really want to honor where we started.  5 years later, I totally get it.
While the meaning for marriage is different for each of us, for me, it means that I am with my best friend.  We don't fit any mold, and enjoy that we march to the beat of our own drummer at all times.

In addition to putting up more pictures of Doug and I, I am going to put up some great pictures of our families and of my amazing friends, some of which I have known since I was in High School.   I am looking forward to going though these boxes and making some sense out of these memories, and even reliving some of them if I can.  Isn't there a time when we all wish we could go back to the days of college or high school? 

While I sense that this project will be a little overwhelming, I think it will also be cathartic and even fun. 

How about you?  Are you great at organizing pictures, or do you leave them in boxes like I do?